I haven't posted in a while and I am sorry for that. I haven't really wanted to do much of anything of late except to keep looking for work. But things have gotten worse at home. As some of you know (and some don't) I have epilepsy, which is a seizure disorder that we believe was developed during the period of my parent's divorce. The person who was the problem back then and remains to be the problem to this day just happens to be my father. Some of my friends are in complete denial over how evil a person he truly is. And then, they assault my mom for "not being over my dad." It's not like I can tell them to stop talking like this and the truth about things, because it would likely get back to my jackass father. Anyway, back to the stress. His leg finally healed up and I no longer had to help him with every aspect of his life. But being around him and constantly putting up with his outbursts has added stress to my life. So much so that regardless of how much seizure medication I am on, it caused my epilepsy to flare up a couple of days ago. There is no other explanation. Now, the jackass (after saying he wouldn't) is driving my car to work every day because I can't drive for 6 months. He wants to make himself look better as he currently normally drives a Chevy Truck to work and after all, he makes 200k/year and he should be able to afford his BMWs. All this shit is doing is causing more stress on me and he wonders why I don't really care about wanting to get healthy. What do I say to him, "Sorry but you're making my life a living hell, that's why I don't want to eat properly right now." I think my favorite part about him right now is how he claims we have money problems, but then he ends up getting LPs in the mail that needs. And these are Fucking Duplicates. Why the fuck does he need duplicates? Why the fuck does he need them at all? But he can't afford to buy me the Hunger Games Trilogy to read (and I am not someone who usually likes to read). But my mom was nice enough to order them for me.
About a year back, a friend that I met at a summer camp died of her seizure disorder. I never really felt it was appropriate to ask what the specific circumstances were, but that as far as I knew, she was in otherwise good health until she suddenly passed away. I have gone so far as to tell my mom that if anything should happen to me, that she is the person to be my next of kin. This is because I know dad will try and bilk every cent out of what I have (if anything) should anymore seizures occur and complications arise. I am scared. All he does is add stress to my life.
On the upside, mom is flying me down to Arizona for a week in June. Hopefully the shock of returning to jackass's house after the trip won't kill me.
And so time moves slowly on. My car incurs the wear and tear of dad and I keep looking for work. Of course, if I do find a job, lets hope they have a bus that runs outside the location.
Until next time.
