Ok, so heres the deal...
I spoke with Jan yesterday. Things went very well. However, my plan is slightly altered. I am planning to tell my friends much sooner than expected. Sometime within the next few weeks. However, I will have to swear them to confidentiality until December. Which brings up the case of december...
December is when I plan on starting to live as Hannah FULL TIME! Its exciting and scary at the same time. However, with my friends behind me, I think things will go well, and I will likely carry pepper spray and a tazer at night, just to be safe.
As you read before, I wanted to start hormones in Dec. in time to have something of a chest by May for the second chance prom. I spoke with Jan about this and technically, the guidelines state that I have to live full time, before I can start hormones, so we agreed that March would be a good time, with the stipulation that I start living as of Jan. 1.
As for my facial hair problem, I found out that electrolosis has several advantages. First, you dont have to pay $1000 up front for all the treatments. You can pay $45 per hour on the day you have the treatment. Second, the laser is only hair reduction, not hair removal, as does electrolosis. Third, in the end it should end up costing less than the laser. Although it may take more time. As I can pay as I go, and with my new job, I will start it as soon as next week. I want to get most, if not all of the hair on my face gone before January 1st. It will significantly help with my passing ability.
Hopefully, due to my family genetics (mainly my mom's and sisters gargantuan boobs) they will grow more or less quickly. But I am sure that I will be able to make myself look perfect in the gown, one way or another.
One last thing... Please feel free to post comments whenever you feel appropriate. I enjoy knowing that people are reading what I write and that it is not just lost in cyberspace.
-Hannah
Hannah,
ReplyDeleteWhat Jan is telling you re: full time before hormones is out of date and generally considered obsolete; to force someone to socially transition before they've had the benefit of the effects of hormones is considered unnecessarily cruel by most current practitioners.
See http://www.wpath.org/documents2/socv6.pdf page 13:
<< Eligibility Criteria. The administration of hormones is not to be lightly undertaken because of
their medical and social risks. Three criteria exist.
1. Age 18 years;
2. Demonstrable knowledge of what hormones medically can and cannot do and their social
benefits and risks;
3. Either:
a. A documented real-life experience of at least three months prior to the administration
of hormones; or
b. A period of psychotherapy of a duration specified by the mental health professional
after the initial evaluation (usually a minimum of three months). >>
3b is what I'm talking about for you.
Granted you've gone to Jan for her expertise in this matter, but still... I'd call Alison @ SAGA and consult on this.
As a counterpoint, if the main reason you want to start hormones asap is so you can wear a strapless dress... What if you just don't grow so much? I wouldn't count on it, sweetie, just let it be what it is.
I mailed you separately about the hair removal thing.
lol my boobs are not gargantuan!! :) I'll be in arizona hopefully on november 10th. See you soon!
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY agree with Ellen. There is no good reason to make someone wait until they are living full time to start hormones. What does living "full time" even mean? How do they determine if you are living full time? There is a myth that your body is not salvageable once you start and transitioning specialists want you to "be sure" about your transition. You can feel it in your heart and it causes you so much pain to have to live this way. Isn't that sure enough?? It is not up to them to decide your time line as long as you are adhering to the guidelines (though, I have a huge objection to these 'guidelines' and restrictions for transitioning). Also, many Trans people phase in and out of hormone use or may use a higher or lower dose depending on their level of satisfaction with their progress and their gender identity. I would most definitely talk to your counselor about this discrepancy and make sure that they truly understand that gender is a spectrum and not mutually exclusive boxes! There are many different ways to live and transition. There is no direct, linear course to follow.
ReplyDeleteRemember, that you are all-woman; big breasts or no. Don't worry so much about how you'll look because a confident smile and personal contentment are far more beautiful than any cup size. <3
I highly recommend that you read this blog: http://xxboy.tumblr.com/ Granted that this is about FTM transitioning, but a lot of the concepts you seem to be grappling with (feeling body disphoric, uncertain, lack of support from family, discrimination etc.) are mentioned in there as well. It might help.