Wow, its amazing how things can change so quickly over the course of a day. I'll lay it all out...
Wells Fargo decided that they would not reverse the overdraft fees that they caused... It was actually their fault for once. So of the $240 paycheck that I got today, I ended up with $20 of it. Fucking bastards. I told them to go screw themselves and I closed my account. I decided, with the advice of my friends to go to Vantage West. So I am now a customer of theirs. But I still have bills to pay and no way to pay them. Lovely.
I received an email today that scheduled my interview time for the BFA. I was afraid that they might schedule me when I had class or work, but the time worked out. Maybe that's a good sign.
Then I went to have dinner/movie with the mom. That was somewhat fun. We saw "You Again." Excellent film. Very funny and highly recommended. But here was the problem...
My mom said that she couldn't handle me transitioning right now with rick and everything else that is going on in her life. I don't want to cause her any more pain or stress that she already has, but I don't want to live in this form anymore. I don't know what to do. HELP! (In other words, please post comments)
-Hannah
IMO, I think it is pretty selfish of her to ask you to stop being who you need and MUST be because it is hard for her. What about the pain and anguish you experience being in a body you're not happy with? I imagine that it must feel incredibly hurtful that your transition is simply coming at a time that isn't "convenient" for her.
ReplyDeleteThe bottom line is that if she is overwhelmed, then she needs help caring for Rick. The solution is not in asking you to stop your transition because that is an unreasonable request. It is imperative that you keep moving forward. If she needs help, whether that be caring for Rick, getting therapy/counseling whathaveyou, then it is her responsibility to do so. You, Hannah, don't have to do anything because she is a grown woman and needs to learn to cope with this because it is not going to do away. She needs to accept that a relationship with her beautiful daughter is not a one way street and may not always be convenient or easy. Moreover, she is missing the process of rediscovering her child, which can be an enormously positive and transgressive occasion. You deserve love, support and attention during this time of self-discovery; don't forget that you have needs too!
Hey I agree with Susan, just because mom is going through a lot doesn't mean your life should stop. I'm nervous about moving to arizona because I don't want mom to think its to help with rick. It will be to some degree but its for me to finish school. Do what YOU need to do to be happy.
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